Uncle Jim and Wormism

Uncle Jim
Uncle Jim was born from the right hand of the crucified son of God, he wormed out along with his sister Erma, from the sopping bloody wound from whence they spawned. He has worms. He has so many wiggly red worms and they can do tricks. The worms are so wet and wiggly and they can do so many tricks. Uncle Jim cares for all of his worms. We are all worms. Dirty slimy wiggly red worms. Uncle Jim gives us our daily dirt, he moistens the soil for our tiny worm mouths, our many worm teeth. Uncle Jim cares for all of his worms.

Uncle Jim protects us from the Daemon Erma, the evildoer. He protects from her mean yelling and her denial of worm tricks. Uncle Jim protects the worms. The worms are grateful for Uncle Jim and his big big boy muscles. Uncle Jim is strong and he protects the worms.

Wormism
Wormism is the most popular false religion, with some estimating as many as 6 devoted followers, and upwards of 4 casual followers. Wormists believe in a god (Uncle Jim) and a anti-god (Erma).

Wormism has only 1 rule: Wiggle. This of course stands for Wait, is god gay? like everyday?

Those who deny the almighty power of Uncle Jim are said to be banished to the nether where they must eternally suffer the torture of Erma, in a land with out worms.

Followers of Wormism show their support via wormship (worm worship). This is done by drawing a worm summoning circle and placing offerings to Uncle Jim at each point of the star. Common offerings include worms, dirt, grass, leaves, beetles, sticks and rocks and mud. Once the offering has been maid worshipers will lay on the ground and writhe for hours on end, naked and secreting goop.

A copy of the Wormist Holy Book can be found here.

Endorsments
"Yes, I enjoy the worm. Even more than I pay for: they give me many more wigglers, they are so gentle, and even soft!. I very enjoy their company, makes me comfortable ever since wife died. I think they wigglers might be able to do tricks too; I have seen a few roll around and vibrate. Thanks you Jim, I love your worm and will surely buy more someday soon." - Notable Schlorper, Joseph Tickles