Garfieldism

Garfieldism is a religion that centers on the One True God, Garfield, and his interactions with us puny mortals. Those who follow this religion are said to gain certain "benefits" based on their level of devotion. Garfieldism describes the afterlife as a being banned from the server and placed into a waiting room, forced to read the server rules for all of eternity. Those who are the most devout of followers are granted a "respawn" if they die doing His work, collecting the almighty Schlorp.

Establishment
Nobody knows for sure who started the first meeting of garfieldists, or even who they were. All that is known is that there were initially seven members who gathered around a physical copy of the game "Garfield cart" for 3DS and ate lasagna out of a communal lasagna trough.

The second meeting however, was fairly well documented. The second meeting began in the Qumran Caves where the newly proclaimed Prophet, Peyton Palindrome, discovered "Schlorp."

Peyton then explained that Garfield craved this non newtonian liquid, and a constant consumption of this would not only hold all members in the highest level of devotion, but also would allow a "respawn" if they were to die while collecting schlorp. Since then, the religion has been one of the largest harvesters of schlorp in the server, rivaled only by members of "S.U.C.K.M.Y.N.U.T.S."

Practices
Despite the overly factitious nature of Garfieldism, Many (if not all) members are closely related to the occult activity and practices described in the prophets teachings. Since the discovery of the prophet Peyton Palindrome, numerous practices were created to worship Garfield. These practices range in their level of devotion, each level granting greater powers to the worshipper.

Shortly after its foundation, Jon Arbuckle wrote the Garfieldism anthem in a feverish fit. It can be found here, but be wary- those whose ears greedily consume the sweet song of Garfield rarely stop.

For the sake of readability, the severity levels have been condensed to a 5-1 scale.

Schlorp Collection (Level 5 Devotion)
While the benefits of schlorp are orgasmic, the collection of it of a deadly process, unworthy schlorpers are known to be obliterated after coming into contact with as much as .40 fluid ounces.

The process itself has certain preconditions before it can begin If the preconditions have been met, and permission has been gained by the nearest exalted Garfieldist
 * The process cannot be started in a month with a holiday that is related to a religion of Abrahamic faith.
 * The process can only occur on odd numbered days of the month.
 * The process MUST not be done before the hours of 12am (EST) or after the hours of 7am (EST)
 * The process itself requires the following members:
 * Three Revered Garfieldists (Supervision)
 * Two honored Garfieldists (Collection)
 * One moron who doesn't worship our beautiful kitty-cat (Bait)